I have to admit...I've had my moments of freaking out about this life change as we prayed and sought council.
I've been immensely invested emotionally and physically into the youth center. I've been in this position for exactly 4 years. Funny how the day I resign is the anniversary of when I started this position.
The youth center started off as an 8 week pilot program in the previous fall with the highest daily attendance being 16 kids. I've taken it to having 35-40 kids daily and more than doubling the equipment and resources needed. I am the only paid staff, and we've been dependant on volunteers or work programs to staff it. An uphill battle I may add as my stress levels have only increased.
The complicated part about my employment is that my church is also where the youth center is, as it has been a bridge ministry. To my knowledge, they do intend to try and keep the doors open after my leaving. I may or may not have privy to the hiring process or hear about changes my replacement may enact. I can guarantee that I will be forced to walk away from conversations in order to keep my mouth shut. I may not like the new changes and the kids may not like the new change in daily routine/behavior consequences.
What will be the hardest is to give up control.
I've had extra perks of being able to borrow play equipment or other resources for ministries outside of my paid hours.
I know the benefits outweigh the perks, such as teaching my kids skills/reducing debt/better home harmony.
It will be a whole new journey to step down from a job to be a full time mom to my kids instead of replacing one job for another or even times of unemployment. Mr. G and I will have to put our faith in God to provide our most basic of needs while cutting safety nets of credit. Budgets will have to be adjusted, but I know God can and will provide...if we are willing to give up control and place our trust in Him.