Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Yes, I am posting this the night before. Tomorrow is looking like a total storm of adult responsibilities where momma may/not get any time to post this and instead decide to retreat to bed.

At times when I have had a rather rough morning with Eliza in the tantrum department, I count down the minutes when I won't feel guilty in going to the sitters to drop her off so where I can have some adult conversation prior to having to leave for work.

Mr. G hates it when I do online pregnancy research. The pregnancy pains have been different this time around and of course I start looking up ectopic symptoms or abdominal pains to watch for. At the present pains I've had, I am chalking it up to gas and bloating. They are always after a good sized meal and last for hours as it all digests. But if it continues to be more painful and closer together, I will check it out for a UTI, as last time at 7 weeks I got one but didn't have most of the tell tale symptoms. But I wonder if gas/bloating can also cause lower back pain?

Feeling a little disorganized. I know there are a bunch of important meetings and events that need prep work done, but it just feels like it is all floating above my head....which really bugs me.

Over the weekend, we were away with family. During this time, I saw this little independent creature toddle around, wanting not a whole lot of attention from mommy and doing her own thing. This proved hard when on a HOT and HUMID Sunday afternoon at a cemetery and a busy road close by. Not to mention having to stand guard of Eliza going to the hedge stones and wanting to pull the flags out or pop off the flower heads.

Is it normal to not think your child is all that great from time to time?  

Time with Grandma

With the long Memorial day weekend to put to good use, we made a trip out to G&G. I used this little trip to help ease the pain of having to say goodbye to my mother the weekend before. But truth be told, the house could have used some extra TLC. Yet the dishes, clutter and mini projects can wait as my little girl will only be this age with her grandparents once.

I didn't pull out the camera a whole lot this time, because well, not a whole lot caught my eye or frankly I was tired and feeling the early pregnancy joys. Yet when our little girl wanted to climb on the piano, the moment presented itself.

Feet were more the more preferred method of technique

She comes from a very musical side of Mr. G's family...but just wait until I can get some art supplies in her little hands.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Yes, I will let this one image speak for its self for ya folks. I haven't gone public on the Facebook page yet, and prolly won't until I have a sonogram picture to post. So consider yourself fortunate to be privy to this info you luck followers you.

When we found out that I was more fertile at that time when Mr. G and I found an opportunity after the fact, we prayed. We prayed that if this child was to happen 6 months sooner than we were thinking, that we could be able to be happy and excited. With worries of how God would provide for our growing family, I can only give it to God to direct the path we are to follow. I guess that means there will have to be some sort of move to a bigger place as our small 3 bd rm house of 1000 sq ft just isn't going to cut it.

I so only want to gain 25 pounds in this next pregnancy. I ended up with 36 the last time around. Not this time baby, not this time I keep telling myself. 

Is it possible my 13 month old is hitting her terrible two's a year early in preparation of having a new born close to the official start of this behavior?  

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Okay, waiting until my monthly aunt decides to or not to make her presence. I am not going to lie....I think I am  leaning towards her not showing and having a faint or ripe second line show up on that plastic stick!

Getting an urge to want to sew some boy stuff up. Most of my fabric stash is geared towards the girly and I think I am needing a change up. *Gasp* could this mean we might have a boy? Boys scare me. The only real intimate understanding and experience I have with them is my husband. I grew up with women. We pee sitting down. We don't wince when someone falls on their family jewels on AFV. When changing my daughters diaper, I don't have to dodge any rouge streams. No, we wipe front to back and don't need to position "it" in the downward facing direction. Yet I want to go and buy up brown, green and blue fabric patterns. I even want to use some jungle receiving blankets to make a baby quilt for some apparent reason.

Mom flies home this Sunday evening. I think I adjusted to her long visit much better than Mr. G. She has helped us with childcare, groceries and even a few date nights. I am not sure what I will do with myself next week as we adjust to yet another new routine of working, drop off's at the sitter and my husband working almost full time. The end of the summer needs to get here soon so I can go back home and visit with mom and the rest of my unofficial family.

Insomnia sucks...nuff said 

Trying to find a bigger place to rent is HARD where we live for the fact of how limited 3 bedroom houses for rent become available. Buying is not an option at this time of our lives.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Happy Mother's Day

A person's a person, no matter how small

Every little girl must have a magic wand

We are winding down the weekend after a day trip to Lake Placid NY taken on Saturday. Lunch after church was done at a small Mexican food place with no crowds to deal with. Mommy liked that the most! Then top the afternoon off with a family nap and a little fun in the backyard with grass filled toes and giggles.

God is Good

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

I've been having some disturbing dreams as of late. They are the ones where you would never want to happen or wish to happen with anyone you know. A few nights ago I dreamed that I had an affair with some blonde haired Christian singer. Before it led up to that, we were touring NYC and tasting special foods. I remember thinking to myself that I liked him and wanted the same to be true for him and how we could keep the chemistry going after this trip. Then my husband came to mind and feeling awful at what I had done and if I should keep this a secret and go on with business as usual.YIKES!!

I think we are going to get the terrible two's a year earlier. We've had some tantrums as of late when she can't get her way. None have happened outside of the house thankfully, but if this is normal for the age, I can't WAIT to see what is in store a year from now.

Mr. G and I have talked about how we know we want more than one child. There has been talk about the timing of the next one also. Well, we are not sure if we have the control over the timing. I guess we will know soon, maybe sooner than thought.

I am sorta bummed right now that one of my medications which is to have a side effect of diminished appetite isn't doing the job as much as I would like it to be doing. Maybe my mother visiting and treating us to groceries and eating out has something to do with it....hard to say no sometimes!

Feeling very nervous about my job and the future of it. I am the only paid staff and the rest are volunteers. Volunteers I might add who are older and retired...and well getting tired. I don't know what the future holds for the next school year. My prayers have been focused on asking for providence and direction for our family. Are we moving? If so, is it around where we live or moving away? Should I start looking for another job? It is still too soon to be able to do anything about it, but the stress is still there none the less. 

Monday, May 7, 2012

Material Girl

At the Youth Center we have a Barbie House and dolls for the girls, and sometimes boys to play with. After discovering the items of clothing either ripping apart or growing legs and walking out the door, we had far too many dolls with no clothes. With having no budget to remedy this fact, I have taken to the web and my pile of scrap cloth to fashion up some new fashions.

Androgynous Ken sporting custom jeans 

Floral tie top
I would have thought Pintrest would be oozing with free patterns or tutorials on Barbie clothes. Yet I found there to be only a few sites with free patterns or tutorials. Yes they had some for pay, but like I said, no money for this kind of stuff.

Some of the tutorials were using a surger to help out on the fraying of fabric. If you didn't have one, they said to do a zigzag around all edges. I wonder how many of them tried it that way because it caused mondo problems in working with the pieces of fabric which then resulted in clothing being too small. I rather have a little more give in each piece as the kids are not gentle in applying the clothing. With all the form fittedness, I think this is what causes the seams to be stressed and fall apart.

I am laughing as I work with this new project/interest as I HATED Barbies with a passion when a little girl. I was very content in dressing up my stuffed bears and playing mommy any day. My own mother use to sew bedding for the wooden craft fair cradles or purchase bear clothes from them. If Eliza does pick bears over Barbies, I think I will have a MUCH easier time sewing for something I don't have to incorporate room for hips and breasts.

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Life's a Beach

We finally had a great weather day for once since Eliza turned a year. Even though we had the professional pictures taken a JCP with all the family (mommy enjoyed being spoiled for once), there were none of just her. With new bathing suit in hand, we headed to Sylvan Beach to capture her first encounter with sand and had a little fun trying out a new play tent.

This kid has no fear when it came to the water. She crawled right up to it, but stopped and never actually got in. Things are still a bit chilly for that sort of fun, but it gave Gram a few more grey hairs. I got a chance to use the new camera body and lens. I do miss my old trusty which I had since buying the Canon 10D. Things would have been just fine if Eliza hadn't had an encounter with my camera. Maybe after shooting a wedding at the end of June will enable me to get something else with will allow me to zoom. But I do like getting faster shutter speeds with this new one.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

I am writing this post much MUCH too early today as my body has decided to tell me that it is hungry and weirdly sweaty at the same time. Not to mention a snoring husband doesn't help settling down, so must make use of this time somehow! 

Last Monday I sooooo needed that date night with Mr. G. We got a few things done in the area of shopping, dined on sushi and of course went to Nicky Doodles for some ice cream. As I got ready, Eliza was away with Mr. G. In each new task I tackled, I couldn't help but keep asking myself if I had the opportunity to start it with out being interrupted by a 12 month old. Oh how our lives have changed. Time for myself feels odd.

My mother is still visiting with us. As much as I love her, I am kinda wanting my house and couch back. Her health has not been the best since arriving, and it has required me to also take care of her and whatever desires she has while visiting. But I know I will dread and miss her after I drop her off at the airport.

I've had these thoughts as of late since Mr. G has returned to work with how my daughter has been behaving. At just 12 months, we saw her first full out 2 year old tantrum where she stamped her feet and threw herself down on the rug. SERIOUSLY!?  This makes me question the wonderful blissful time period of the first year compared to the rest of the stages. Will they ever compare to the same wonderful moments and excitement of the first year? I can see less and less of the baby face in her which makes me sad. Almost to where I question if she isn't cute anymore. When I was little, there was a time where I was quite cute. Then almost over night my appearance changed and it was all tom boy. This was the beginning of all the taunting and teasing which carried me through the next 13 years of school.

In being crafty at the youth center on our next to nothing budget, I am finding such the inadequacy of options for KEN when it comes to sewing patterns for outfits. I purchased two boy dolls from my own pocket after a few boys were begging me to have an option for them. With the money I had, my only options were Beach Boy KEN. Sorry.....not every day can be a day at the beach. They seriously needed some shirts. In my feeble attempts as a doll seamstress...the clothes still look like Ken needs a rack to fill the rest of the shirt. The neck line is difficult to get right with out becoming too feminine and also be easily put on the doll. As I worked on the sewing machine, a few girls sat and watched in amazement. Then they requested I make clothes for the other Barbies. " Sorry girls, I will make new clothes for them as soon as who ever is shoplifting our current ones stops." We have FAR too many naked ladies to the ratio of outfits available.