Parental Merritt Badge

Yep, we've earned a new Merritt Badge for being a parent. Its the nearly midnight trip to the emergency room. For this last week Eliza has been kinda "off" of sorts. Nothing crazy that it would require a visit to the doctor, but just monitoring after some Tylenol. It wasn't until Thursday night that she was very clingy and felt warm. We continued the TLC into the next morning and thought we had whatever was up licked. Yet at our mommy and me activity with MOPS, my regularly social child was not fond of being much anywhere else but with me. Not even snacks, her bottle and being outside in the swing would crack a smile.

I went to work later in the afternoon and daddy was on duty. He ended up giving some Motrin prior to my returning home. She still felt warm and didn't want to be ANYWHERE but on my chest. After going to bed early, we thought we would see where things were in the morning.

Two hours later, we heard faint whimpers from her room and then would cease. This trend continued for the next hour after I would check on her and find her asleep instead of standing up demanding to be taken out of the crib. She was quite warm. Took her temp again and it was low grade, yet she sounded pretty pitiful.

Our hospital of choice is about 20 minutes away, but well worth it for the care and service we've been given there in the past. To our luck, it was a quiet night and we got a room fairly quickly. An RSV test was given and chest x-rays were taken as her pulse ox was a bit all over the place. Those came back negative. Temperature was taken and low and behold, 103! No wonder she had no interest in much of anything than mommies arms.

Then we come to find out she had a double ear infection. Poor thing! Tylenol, motrin, antibiotics and some numbing ear drops were given. She sucked down 4 oz of pedialyte and was upset when she ran dry. But oh how funny our little "drunk" was when the drugs started to take effect and we saw her usual smile return. 

We arrived home around 3:30 ish and crashed. Saturday plans were just going to take a back seat to staying home and watching movies on the couch. But I feel like I have a new born that I never had before. Sleeping and cries is what is filling most of our day.

The brief time today of being mostly awake watching UP

Non Mid Week confessions

Okay, not really in the mid week confessions mood this week, so I'll throw some sort of post for ya

Eliza getting her EKG

This week was spent at getting a second EKG since Eliza was born. We wanted to know if she had inherited any of Mr. G's issues in order to be safe. Eliza did amazingly well for holding still. Now WHY can't she do this for me during diaper changes!? Since cardiology is right next door to Labor/Delivery, I poked my head in to see if any of the nurses of mine were on duty. No such luck as two mamas were about to drop a baby, but my room was empty. Its hard to believe that we were here a little less than a year ago. As we left, the biggest pain in my heart was felt.

I wanted to be in labor....

I wanted to be the one everyone was getting excited about...

I wanted to be in great anticipation in bringing a whole new life into our family.

Yes, I know those thoughts sound very vain, but I can't help the fact that they are very honest. I don't have the desire to relive the pregnancy per say with my daughter again. I love the person she is developing into and all the fun stuff we are getting to enjoy with her.

We are now the new proud owners of a baby gate! It is one of those gates with in a gate. It just got down to the hassles of one of us being in the office while the other in the living room. Not all the doors would be shut and she was finding her own fun to be had.

We've experienced a fluke vomiting session. Four heaves, 2 shirt changes and a fitted bed sheet change with in an hour....and she seems just fine later in the day. I don't know how she can drink that pedialite though....yuck! Or maybe it was just the strawberry flavor.

Young Love

Spring is here and it feels a little more like Summer. But I'll take it any day over rain and snow. I got the chance to spend the afternoon outside while getting over an upper respiratory infection with my neighbor. Eliza had a grand time going with out a diaper on and giving some love to her visiting "boyfriend". As you can see, he isn't quite sure about these arrangements so far, but Eliza has no doubt. Something tells me she will do more of the chasing than waiting around!

 

At times when I am feeding my daughter, I don't have the time/patients to find a knife to delicately chop or slice up the food to be better manageable. So what does a mom do you ask? Why be a momma bird and loosely chop up chunks in my mouth and dump on plate! I only do this at home mind you, so not to worry if we dine next to each other.


I pinned something simple on Pintrest and it got 337 repins! Holly cow. It is not even my work, but I feel kinda special despite the fact.


We've managed to get down to just one morning feeding, but I must confess it doesn't feel all that special as it once did. I know she is growing up, and she is not my little newborn or even 6 month old. Waiting to get to a year until I say good bye to breast feeding for her sake.


I am actually looking forward to my mother visiting for a while while we celebrate Eliza's birthday. She has missed out on so much of her growing up in person, that I am curious as to how Eliza will react to a person who she has heard on the phone more than in the flesh. It will be interesting since this time I will be working part time and she taking care of her while I am away and whenever Mr. G will be working. Too bad you have to have another baby to get maternity leave...hurmph.

My Drug of Choice

There is nothing like a wonderful warm and semi sunny Saturday to make those in the North East go a little nuts. It's like this wonderful drug that sweeps over you, the best antidepressant, better than cuddling after sex kind of feeling. After just breaking a sweat with doing a few house chores, I busted out the summer clothes from the storage closet!


Today was a family day. A modest lunch at Ponderosa and a visit to Whims-n-Doodles with unexpected damage done (hard to resist cloth diaper designs and what nots) started the afternoon off after a nice lazy morning where I got to enjoy a nap even! 

I know I am biased, but I think that little tummy showing 
and delighted smile is rather cute dontchya think?

 

To burn off lunch and enjoy this weather, we finally after 2 years of living here decided to try this trail off the 840. Baby girl was looking very spring like and appropriate for St. Patty's Day with out the dark green everything. Mommy loved to pull out some 12 month warm weather clothes from the closet just for her. We ended up walking almost 3 miles, walking past many other people out enjoying the day. Eliza ended up finishing the last stint with a nap. Who wouldn't want to be pushed around with drink in hand?


The evening was finished out with tearing up the play corner to put down a better foam play mat and watching Rio for the first time. We hardly get to the theater and caught up on a few titles such as Puss N Boots, Smurfs, and later on for mommy-Brides Maids.

Panic

I am finding myself panicking when I greet my daughter when I come home. Days before were greeted with a big hug and a full breast just for her. We would lay down on the couch and rest while she ate. Many times this would result in her falling asleep. Sleep which came after being safe and content at what she knew to bring her comfort.


Those days are coming to an end.


Now when I pick her up, I have to find some way to distract or make a pathetic excuse as to why mommy keeps pulling her jacket over, blocking the way to contentment. I use my hoodie to help block hands reaching out in frustration and tears to pull at my hair as to cry out, "But wwwwhhhhhyyyyy mama, please just let me in."


I panic because so much of my holding her has been to nourish her wants and needs. Now there has to be some other reason to hold that makes her just as content.


Just looking for images on google to best portray the above image in photoshop, brings a pang in my heart. All these mothers doing something so natural with babies that are fresh and new. Gazes looking down at their child, feeding, an expression on their babies faces.....one I know all too well. 


Yes, breast feeding is hard, at times painful and demanding. Many times I have felt the desire to be free and not have to worry about how long it's been since the last nursing session or pump. Or trying to find a comfortable bra to better facilitate things when out in public, while also hiding my rolls of stomach, stretched to accommodate a miracle from God; trusted in our hands to raise.  



All we have now is a sleepy cuddle in the morning after I know it is safe to offer due to the medication I feel is time to begin again.


After this, I will never breast feed my daughter again in her life. I will go and work hard to bring other good things for her tummy. But not in the same sweet innocent way I use to in that first year of life.

Mid-Late-Week Confessions

 

So I have finally decided to get serious about weening Eliza. The only way I knew I would be better at doing it was to go back on the ADHD meds. Its one of those class C drugs where they don't really know the effects. I do know this kind does go into the milk some, but I take it in the morning. So this leaves one morning nursing session still available. She seems to be doing okay with this for during the day, so say a little prayer for her and I as it's going to be interesting trying to reduce my supply and not get plugged.

I have to say though, this med I am on is wonderful for the added bonus of curbing my appetite. Food isn't so much on my mind and I can say no to all sorts of goodies. It doesn't feel at all like a diet either. I just eat much less than with out. Here is to getting rid of whatever lingering baby weight is left!

Starting to think about trying for another baby in 6-8 months. Kind of scary but praying our little family can get some better stability in the employment and health insurance department. Yet again it's not much of a break from breast feeding and getting more of my life back while on medication. I guess if the Lord desires it, He'll give me the comfort and peace about it. After all, this peace was given about having Eliza. Being naive about all the ups and downs about pregnancy is a blessing with your first one.

I haven't printed out party invites yet. I know they have to get done, but feeling unmotivated about the party compared to Jan when I got all excited and was pinning stuff on Pintrest. I swear, that site is paved with good intentions!

I am happy things are starting to warm up here in the North East, but kinda bummed about having to be good on shaving my legs. I was quickly reminded about it when putting on some capris....yeah..... not pretty.

100

Not to toot my own horn, but since creating this blog....I've written 100 entries! This is kinda a big deal since I hadn't done much with this thing until getting ready for the arrival of Eliza. Not sure where else I will take this thing, but I don't think it will be anything super professional. I want to keep the posts true, authentic and creative. Sure there are folks who do give a ways from a sponsor who they tested out their product, but I'm not that aggressive.


Shoot, sometimes I have to really push myself to write. Otherwise no one likes a stale blog.


Thank you to all my old and new readers out there. Feel free to say hello in the comments so I don't feel like I am writing to myself :)  

From the phone

When I first had posted these to my blog, I was doing it from the new smart phone app. Here I thought I was, all being smart and happy that I could share these things on the fly to all of you. Then when trying to post an entry about Eliza taking those first steps, I didn't see anything current. So sigh.....I guess I must do this on the "mother ship" computer. Enjoy these fun little snippets :)

She just loves to be involved with Daddy

Giving direction and washing daddy's hair cat style

One hot pajama mess on mommy's lap

Who can resist these feet? 2nd nap of the day on mommy's lap

And She's Off!

Our size 2 feet and size 2 diaper wearing baby

Well, it's happened. Our little girl has has taken her first independent steps at just a week shy of 11 months. It started with 3 steps when I let go of her hands and she took them towards me to hold back on to them. Then a little later, 7 more followed when I stood her up, let go and walked backwards with her chasing me. When daddy came home, she took 3-4 more towards him from mommy.


I had wondered about her balance when catching her let go from furniture to stand. For a while she would walk with us as long as we held her hands. The only thing lacking was balance. Crawling is still her preferred mode of mobility when getting from cruising to cruising furniture. But I am sure we will be seeing more dare devil stunts when she realizes at just what she can do with out mommy and daddy setting her up.   

Sell it Baby!

As I looked at our garage storage, the feelings of too much stuff pilling up was getting to me. The baby gear which has been out grown will just have to stay put as we are certainly not done in this department. Yet I hate to hold on to clothes that we may or may not even use for the next baby. Arg....


An opportunity to buy a table at our church's indoor rummage sale peaked my interest. Yet, did I seriously have enough to make the 20 dollar donation worth it? I knew of a few items, but then thought it would be better if I split a table with my neighbor, hence less out of my profits.


After making a small pile of things in the garage, I felt content and left it at that. Yet when on the night before of setting up shop....I was surprised at just how much stuff was for sale. There were a few wedding gift items either still in the box or used only a few times, interview shoes, kitchen items etc...I didn't want to take much home afterwards but wasn't THAT desperate to let them go for very little. I even decided to sell brand new clothes with tags that we just never got around to or weren't right for the season, which did well in selling.


With being armed with a Dunkin Donuts run and baby in a pack and play, the doors opened at 9 am.


Having friends in the church was awesome as for when Eliza had enough of her prison, we played "pass the baby". Then she did a great job flirting with passers by and getting to at least take a look. Shoot...she even took a 45 min nap with all the comings and goings of folks. My goals of this sale was to be done with the love seat as who want's to have to reload that sucker, and if we made $100, I would be happy.


Well, after the love seat finally went for a steal of $30 as the sale was over, I almost doubled what I was hoping for with $185.25. Yippie! Baby girl is going to have a nice 1st birthday party with some of this money :)

I Scream for Cone Invite

It's getting close to the time where I should be a good mommy and start printing and building  Eliza's first birthday party invites. We've decided to go with a retro ice cream parlor theme. I don't see it all that much among other ideas. Plus this is sooo doable for on the cheap. I will be using the church for the location and borrowing the crawl tunnels and bean bag toss stuff. It will be low key and just a celebration for all those who have been involved in her sweet first year of life :)

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Today was just one of those days!

I am finding myself becoming more of a morning shower person since being a mommy. By the time little one is down for good.....I want to hop online or take care of the zillion things to do list. Then I realize a)It is just a few minutes to my bed time and b)I am TIRED! The thought of having to do the whole shower and hair care afterwards seems sooo painful when my bed is calling.

Almost said screw it to going to my MOPS meeting. I had taken a mini nape in the morning and by the time I was to be leaving, Mr. G informs me to get up. Little one had not been fed, changed or dressed. I of course was in the same situation. Then throw in a dash of struggling baby....yeah....I came close to throwing my own tantrum.

I know why I love cloth diapers better over disposables. When in cloth, the poop doesn't go up the back. When will they learn to put elastic back there to keep all the piddles in place?

I REALLY want little one to be walking by her birthday. I have such cute clothes waiting for her, not to mention when at her birthday party. Crawling and dresses just don't do so hot.

I feel fat. No really, I feel FFFFFFFFFFFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTT. I will be in the middle of doing something and I'll notice some part of my body start to jiggle. Then I can't ignore said jiggle and it drives me nuts! Clothes are fitting me or hitting me in weird places. I am not sure if its a matter of needing to do some crunches, breast feeding etc or to get pregnant so I can justify the extra....but I am attempting to try and make some better food choices. Just right after this last conversation heart.

Plugged

*Warning*

This entry is of a personal bodily function and may be too personal or 

disturbing to any prudish folks out there. If you feel this might be you....

check back in on another day. Kay?

Oy!

This is what I've been trying to get my left breast to do over the weekend. I woke up early Friday morning, feeling engorged. So since Eliza had woken up, I thought I would give in and feed vs. crying it out. 

Strangely, there wasn't a whole lot of relief after nursing. So I continued feeding more on that side before work.

Then after being at work for little more than an hour, I started to feel crummy. You know, that achy tired crashing wave over your body? A true indication that I am really and truly sick is when I come home and my ADHD self doesn't get up from the couch for 4 hours.

I hurt....and hurt big time.

Pumping didn't get much done either.

Mr. G googles "plugged milk duct" and grabs something off Baby Center. The internet has been our substitute health care coverage while we wait until coverage can come our way. Thanking the Lord for medicaid for Eliza.

I had the flu like symptoms, but no fever so with rest, Advil and my baby we decided to wait it out as it wasn't looking like Mastitis.

Man oh man....is this painful! After the baby had gone to bed, I found the best way to express milk was by myself. Through hands and my own mouth.....all I wanted was the plug to get sucked out and give me a happy left side again. Never had I seen traces of blood get expressed as the prefold absorbed my efforts.

Church was skipped today so I could "cram" all the nursing in I could along with heat pack treatment. We cuddled, stayed in our pajamas and watched episodes or Storage Wars and Toddlers & Tiaras. It has been a LONG time since I have spent a sick day (excluding my maternity leave) on the couch, and my first being sick and watching a baby in the process.

I only hope Eliza doesn't think today is how the days will go from now on.

Sigh...someday we shall be weaned!