We all go through different seasons of life at different times than others. Some good.....some not so good.....and some last longer than they would like.
You could say that my thoughts and feelings lay with in the that latter. Working in ministry comes at many hidden costs of ones life. When those who reached Jesus and asked to follow him, he obliged. Except there were matters they wanted/needed to take up before following. Not too many would argue their reasons for requesting a little more time to take care of these matters. Yet we are called all the same to give up all our personal desires in order to fully follow.
My moving around has required me to leave some pretty awesome friendships/relationships in a long distance category. Sure there is Facebook, but it doesn't measure up to in face person to person time. I miss my church college group dearly. We've moved on from college, into careers and marriages and yet they still meet up in a new group each Sunday after the main service. It was still a cost when living on the west coast, but much less inconvenient to make it happen.
Then there is my creative side. I have many interests in different art medias. From oils to photography, I find the skies the limit in what can be created and captured. A lot of my recent work has been centered around my daughter. In capturing children the challenge is getting a fast enough shutter speed in relation to the amount of light available. I have not been able to make much of any real investment into my camera gear since living in California. To this day, I still use the first hot light set bought in my early college days when needing to get a Fila shoe product shot for Ad Campaign I. When I look at pictures taken in studio, I can tell the difference compared to a newer light kit. Not to mention many pictures deleted because of an overall blur or blurred body part. Frustration abounds.
If only I could be blessed with enough work to allow me to invest in updated equipment. If only we had the extra income to make traveling a more regular thing of vacations where I could have that quality face time with those I still love and still want to be a part of the new seasons they are embarking upon. If only my husband could be blessed with an awesome job with great benefits and our debt could start melting away like an ice cream cone on a hot summers day.
It makes me wonder when the break in the storm will ever come.
And in the midst of this all, I know I am still blessed with so much despite these situations. So I pray for contentment for this season of life.