The Ripple

Wednesday was a busy day for sure...

After work, Mr. G and I headed down after work to the funeral parlor for the calling hours. It was a weird feeling, to go into one of these...almost like inviting yourself to a party you never formally received an invite to, walking into a room where you didn't know anyone, but for a brief moment with the departed.

I had been mentally preparing myself for an open casket. It wasn't until I moved to the east coast that the term "calling hours" became a part of my vocabulary. When we entered the room, there were chairs set up as if for a funeral, picture boards, faces of people I didn't know....and a closed casket with an American flag folded up.

I found myself faced with not knowing what to do with myself. If awkward introductions of, "Hi, I was the other driver" weren't bad enough, I was still coming off of last nights tidal wave. With Mr. G helping break the ice with the woman's family, I met with the passenger who walked away from the other car. He was actually her boyfriend, who had just gotten back from China to spend the Thanksgiving break with her. He had just gotten back the day before, only to unknowingly spend a precious 24 hours with a woman he loved.
It was some relief that the family did not hold any bitter feelings towards me and that my kids were alive and safe in a wrong place at the wrong time incident.

We left the funeral parlor and then headed to where the van was being stored. It was being totalled and we had to go clean it out or our belongings. Something I only owned but 6 months and what felt took forever in the buying process.

I sat in the driver's seat, closed the door and just balled. It felt like I was laying to rest a member of the family....taken away beyond my control.The temperature that day hadn't moved above freezing that day, and my body had felt it all day as I paid my last respects to our car filled with misc papers and kid stuff.

I know it was just a car, but it was having a freedom of space that we hadn't had before, and not since my childhood Toyota Previa had bitten the dust.

Now, now the healing process has started I think. Tomorrow will be 1 week since the accident.