Why does this model dating so much?

For most women, there comes a time where they say goodbye to the dating antics and hello to steady married life. I did that 9 months ago tomorrow. No longer did I have to search dating websites or make sure I looked pretty in case Mr. Right was scheduled to fall in my lap. And no more 1st awkward dates to coffee and waiting by the phone for a return date.

So why do I feel this same anxiety as a married woman?????

This reason would be the fact that starting this fall, we've been on a ministry team search to get us moved to the east coast. And like the dating sites, we've combed through a certain one to look for postings that would provide jobs for us both at the same time. One particular attractive one came up and we were found to be of interest to it.

Let the games begin!

What a roller coaster it was on my emotions. First off, we were coming to the end of our apartment lease where we could leave and not pay a stiff penalty, so better make use of it! My current job has been cut to permanent part time and Mr. G hasn't been able to catch a break at work in getting promoted to a new job within in over a year of trying.

This team position would have a huge reduction in cost of living. Also putting us at the middle point of family with 6 hours drive in either direction. Then throw on top of being near 4 major cities, 3 states and Canada. Not to mention also being able to rent a house! I was like Ralphie gazing at the Red Rider BB Gun.....wishing and hoping we would be given this opportunity. We interviewed, got positive feedback from other higher up that we had a good shot. Throw in some other "date" getting sick, delaying the dating process and much deliberation on their end.

.....Now we know we've been dumped for someone else. Arg! And what burns my cheese the most is they made an assumption about us without asking us first hand, and letting "family" have WAY too much control in the decision!

I was emotionally exhausted after all this. Dreams crushed and left wondering when the storm will pass in this season of life. Feeling rather stupid for letting myself get caught on a cloud that this would come through and solve and further complicate my life in figuring out how to move in the winter across the state and find housing with less than a month to do it all.....I have to be more cautious in the future.

Low and behold, a few days later we finally get something on the stove again after wondering if anything official would happen after exchanging our profiles (resumes) to be deemed worthy or not of a phone date.

I will NOT let the same thing happen again! I have to keep my feet on the ground until there is an offer on the table. I don't want to sound jaded from this process, but I feel less confident on this possibility than the other. This requires me to not even mention what this possibility is so I do not build myself up in hopes, much like talking to your girlfriends about a guy you're interested in.

A blessing though.....we were able to go month-to-month on our apartment lease without an increase in rent! This gives us the freedom to continue our search in the east without the same worry of what financial consequences we would have to face.

What is it with a woman’s mind? We start to feel a little sick or not feel quite like ourselves and then thoughts of maybe being pregnant come to the surface. I’ve been watching the show on TLC called I didn’t Know I was Pregnant….yeah where woman don’t show telltale signs they are carrying a baby.

Lately, I’ve had these weird bouts of nausea. Never do I throw up, but can’t shake this feeling of wanting to. So I decide to head out that night to the local Fredy’s for a test. But for something you pee on, it’s a bit of a chunk to pay. I decided to get the 2 box one and utilize the handy on box coupon, making it 4.50 a test. Dollar Tree would have been my first stop if it weren’t for the fact they closed after 10 PM. This was all going on while Mr. G didn’t even know where I was.

So there I was coming through the door and opening the pink box. Mr. G says, “You think you might be pregnant” with disbelief in his eyes. I shrug my shoulders and continue to my test. Afterwards I let it sit and head to the office. You could hear a pin drop in that room as Mr. G read his book while I surfed the net. Quietly I get up and check the magic stick to find out our fate.

Not Pregnant stares up at my gaze.

Inside of me I wanted to see two pink bars on my four dollars and fifty cent test. The jubilation of telling the future grandparents comes to my thoughts and the happiness it would bring. Not to mention using pregnancy as an excuse to get out a few things or special treatment all because of bun in the oven. Guess I was incorrect in reading my own body. Even with being on the pill, I should have listened to what could be PMS as I shot fart after fart down the aisles. Glad it was a slow night of other shoppers!

Even being on the pill, I know other couples who were using 3 different methods of protection and yet God was smarter and blessed them with a surprise miracle.

FOOD

After needing some girl time with a past roommate, I had her over and decided I would try to match my mothers old recipe that I loved long ago. And what do you know....it worked! I have had several failed attempts at some Pad Thai.....so bad I went to the restaurant to wipe out the bad taste of it.

You will need.....

1 pound ground beef
1/3 minced carrot
1/4-1/3 minced yellow onion
Soy Sauce
Worcestershire Sauce
Terriaki marinade/sauce (should be like soy in thickness)
Asian pastry dough sheets (round)


Throw in hot skillet/Wok ground meat, onion, carrot and dashes of all 3 sauces depending on how strong you want it. Fully cook meat making sure you break up any large chunks. The more ground the meat, the better.

After cooking fully, take off heat and let cool or put in refrigerator for later use.

Take one pastry round and put about 1/5 table spoon of meat inside. Dip finger in water and wet outside rim on half of circle. Fold and pinch sides to keep meat from falling out. After you've completed as many as you want, put on cookie sheet or plate covered and put in freezer. Freezing time should be at least 1 hour prior to cooking or as soon as frozen.

Use fry daddy or hot oil in wok to cook. I used the french fry temp of 375. Cook as long as needed depending on how crisp or chewy you want them.

Serve with terriaki sauce or plum sauce. Can be used as a great appetizer too!

Here we are with traditional Pot Sticker style

Then you can get a little creative in the mix with how you package them

The Mattress war

I may or may not have blogged about this before, but there is something about sharing a bed and the summer heat. Due to our resources, we have stuck to sharing a full size bed because of the unique features this mattress bestows. As far as bedding goes, we haven't used more than a sheet for warmth since early May. Anything more seems to be a bit hot.

I grew up in Southern California where the summer heat would be hard to deal with. Not to mention not having central AC. Our break from the heat when the ceiling fans were not enough was to go to the mall! Right before I moved away, it was 111 degrees. It was as if the air stood still. The bathroom tiles were hot down to the toilet seat. I guess you could say I built up a tolerance for this hot weather.

Mr. G grew up on the north east coast where winters became very cold while the summer was hot and humid, he was blessed with central air.

Fast forward to present time.....

Where we live, it can get warm (Low 90's). The heat dies at night, making the temperature tolerable.......... except for my husband. He'll get up during the night and go sleep on the futon where the sliding door is open to get cool. Only from that point, my body must sense the extra room and slides over in the middle. Mr. G then finds himself with no bed. The last attempts of moving me over while asleep triggered me to flail my arms at him like I was swatting his efforts away.

Back to the futon he goes......

Wee hours in the morning he wakes up again and returns to our bed where I guess I've moved back over. As I start to wake up, I find his body temperature to be a bit discomforting and toss the sheet off me. This makes me wonder if we will find any peace on this bed until the Fall season starts?

A rut?

So we are approaching almost the 5 month mark of being married and I can't help but notice a bit of a rut in our days we work. We both come home in the 6-7 evening time and start dinner. If its cooked and on the table by 7, its a luxury. Then we go to our respective spots and veg out until one of us gets bored and joins the other. I tend to initiate getting ready for bed and Mr. G follows soon afterward.

Part of me is starting to feel as though being married is the constant while being single was the variable. Even this statement is flawed because marriage will never stay constant due to life. God is the constant. Yet this is how I feel right now.

I remember soon after getting back from the moon, we went out after getting home from work and ended up going into Washington to the local mall and then Thai food afterward near where I use to live. Boy does this feel like ages ago. Now both of us are so tired, making any ideas of going out again to be out of the question.

I don't even like going out at all on my day off following 3 heavy days of work. Doomed to be a hermit despite being married.

When we move east, there will be far more places to drive to. The next major city/metro is 3 hours away even and if you want some big time amusement park, it requires 10+ hours of driving. And I thought 3 hours was crazy growing up to get to Six Flags.

So what else is in store for us during our first year?

Pleasing.......

I've gotten so very tired trying hard to please others lately. This is not to get mixed up with not being able to say no, but the reason being I am required to give of myself above my own needs for my job.

A job I feel a bit inadequate to do and a resounding gong repeats the sound of doubt with each beat. I can't think clearly enough...too much fuzz and I am nervous about whatever growth we make will blow up causing reprehensible damage. Damed if I do, damed if I don't. Neither direction seems to bring a solution.

My doubt doesn't stay locked up in my office.......

No, it commutes home to my residence, personal life and married life. It makes me not want to serve my husband and give of myself. Right now, I want him to serve me. He see's my hurt and I want nothing but for him to run and rescue me where my happiness and joy is the only thing which matters at this moment.

Instead he comes to me wanting his needs fulfilled. When will he get the picture? Then guilt comes over me like a wave about my own selfish nature making me not any better than my spouse.

Yet I am called to fight the battle of apathy and indifference. Concerns increase with how empty I've become to this point. At just the right chink.....hairline fracture........will my fighting arm shatter because of the sheer weight of my sword? And others will speak in whisper to each other about what I did wrong and this must be all my careless fault, but not say it to my face.

Oh how I long to be poured into with overflowing joy and happiness again. My job isn't doing it, hobbies, weather, money...and not my spouse who I had hoped would ease some of the sting of life. I want to be a baby again where I did not question who would take care of me or my next meal. To be bathed and swaddled while a comforting voice rings in a soothing tone of, "everything is going to be okay."

My happy place is lost for the moment. I remember sitting on the top of the monkey bars watching the sun set over the metal jungle gym at the school yard. I would kick my shoes off and feel the gentle cooling breeze run its way through the cotton socks and the middle of my toes. This memory does not exactly come across as happy, but the thoughts or problems running through my brain could be easily forgotten with a Happy Meal or 3 day weekend with no homework or winning back the pogs I lost because of my pride.

I ask...when does being an adult get any better and what will be made with the rest of my life until I am called home?

The finished product and more

So, like I said in a previous blog about crafting, I was working on a paper mache bowl. After working with it and due to the wonderful sewing talents of a friend of mine, here is what turned out. As I work on a second one, trying to get a more even/less warping bubble forming during the drying process...we will see how it goes. The "e" doesn't stand for anything, just a random letter to pick. Kind of like those numbers on shirts you get at Old Navy. People ask you what they mean thinking you of all people would have an inside connection to the textile graphic designer!
The e was hand painted on. I wasn't about to pay 5 dollars for one of those vinal letters which I am sure would screw up the application of it. This must be where they make all their money at craft stores...having to buy multiple supplies from past experience or fear of destroying what you had.

In other industrious news....

We have these nice Calphalon pans which are from our wedding gifts. After being tired of throwing out a non stick pan about once a year or looking the other way when those black non stick flecks were becoming even more noticeable....I wanted pans which were not hand me downs despite being new or ones which distributed heat more evenly. I hate that where we live, most everyone has electric ranges. Cooking would be much more enjoyable by NOT burning all my food up in certain areas while leaving insides uncooked.

The care instructions state: Do not exceed 450 degree, no dishwasher, no metal utensils. We hand wash these suckers, but then wrestle and struggle on where to put them away as I do not want to telescope them in fear of hurting the non stick coating. So after thought, my space where the sink is looked a little bare. Now with only a common hammer and a few nails...the problem is solved while also looking pleasing to the eye and bringing the effect of a woman who knows how to cook.

No need for fancy Ikea kitchen essentials....just some elbow grease!

Slap it together!

Have you ever had those times where the thought of cooking something just overwhelmed you? You are expected to be a wiz in the kitchen and come up with a hot dish despite what state the kitchen is in.....

A nice surprise was found this morning after I decided to wake up on my day off. Mr. G had taken care of the dishes and put them in the dishwasher! Now things were slightly less chaotic to deal with.

Now things were much more primed to cook.

Here is my concoction from the pantry: Mexican Lasagna

Recipe

1 can Italian stewed tomatos
1 pound chicken breast
1/4-1/3 cup sour cream
Graded cheese
Burrito size flour tortillas
1-2 cups white rice (I used boil in a bag rice)

Cut chicken up into bite size pieces. Season with pepper and onion powder while in hot pan. After initial cooking has begun, pour in tomatos and its juice. Let simmer until rice is 2 minutes away from being done. Add rice into skillet and mix well. Add sour cream, put on low eat and reduce heat to thicken up mixture.

Take Pyrex dish and place tortillas cut to shape (I used a 9 x9 pan, so I had to cut them square). You will need 4 of them. Once mixture on the stove has thickened up a bit, layer it with your tortillas. Be sure to place first tortilla down on bottom to start your first layer. I found my trim pieces to work nicely around the edges as I layered my insides. Before placing the final tortilla, sprinkle cheese on top. Then add additional cheese to top of tortilla as this will help from it curling off.

Place in oven at 325 for 10-13 minutes.

Pieces should come out easily for serving. Add salsa as garnish if you like. 9x9 size serves 4-5 people.

In-law Drama

So, just a little over 4 months, we have in-law drama.

Mr. G's parents live on the east coast. Mrs. G's parent lives on the west, but south. Both of us live in the PNW. This means the phone is our best form of communication next to flying out to each respective home.

When we got married, a few days before the wedding we had a brunch with all the parents together. This was right before Mrs. G's mother became quite ill and why most of my wedding pictures have her looking unhappy. In fact, the comment made by her in regards to my new mother-in-law, "Boy, she looks like your real mom."

At Christmas time before wedding and at Fathers day, my mother has sent gifts as a way to say hello and work through the distance gap.

Well, the only way she's heard about their liking the things she's sent is through us. No thank you card or phone call has been returned. This has now rubbed my mother the wrong way and we now get to play mediator.

I tried to tell her it was nothing intentional....how they have a 24/7 job position and its hard to get those things taken care of. I even mentioned how when we last talked to Mr. G's parents about Christmas in 2010 if we are then living on the east coast to have her fly up and stay with them.

Do I see a favoritism with family? Yes...I do. We call Mr. G's parents more during each week. I talk with my mother-in-law more in comparison with how often my husband talks with my mother.

Its difficult when I do not share the same values as my mother does. She doesn't know of the same love I know to be what love is. Her heart is big and love language gifts. Care packages are her way of saying she misses you. As much as I love these gifts, its hard to not feel guilty about my future plans.

They say you have two shots at a great family.....the one you're born into and the one you marry. The one I've married into is my attempt to change my life 180 degrees. Change, but not to leave out.

So how does one help bridge the gap when two families live miles apart?

Birthdays and your spouse.....

We are closing in on almost 1 month away till Mr. G's birthday. Which has left me a bit puzzled on what to grace upon him that will meet or beat last year. Since he is a man of adventure, I saved up to give him a one hour flying lesson in a 4 person sesna. And yes he had the controls for most of the flying time. He had a great time....I puked in my purse. Needless to say I didn't keep it and was worth the sacrifice of not doing it in my camera bag.

Little to my knowledge, this gift earned me brownie points towards my birthday where I was asked to wed Mr. G while on a dinner cruise.

Now how does one out do that? I can't afford a flying lesson to the moon. Mr. G is also scratching his head as to do something bigger of a proposal since our birthdays are just about a month apart.

Here is what I have tried so far and come up empty handed....

Shooting range-They require you to own your own gun. Another place will let you rent one, but require another buddy to pay also. So combine those costs with amo, targets, shooting time etc...it comes out to an expensive birthday experience.

Columbia River- We don't own a boat and have come up with no connections returning my request to go out with them and enjoy an afternoon on the water while we help chip in on the gas.

I have cooked him dinner before as a special meal and done books he likes in the past....The fancy watch has already been purchased in the past, he has business clothes. We don't need more things as we have enough. Much like myself, I rather get him an experience he will treasure for years to come. There is one item I have purchased for a stinking killer deal at 99% off the original. But its not exactly a bells and whistles gift.

So I ask those of you who read this hidden blog....do you have any ideas for a great husband birthday gift? Keep in mind our time off together let alone over night is very hard to get and the day falls on a Monday.

Please leave a comment!

Hey, its my mouth and money too ya know!

Why is it that men want to be in charge of their wives that when it comes to talking to doctors and such, they interrupt.........thinking they know your body better?

Due to lack of proper dental care that later portion of growing up.....my mouth needs a lot of work. This is on top of the past 3 grand worth getting done before I moved here. I HATE THE DENTIST. Never do I leave with good news. I loathe much like taking the car to the mechanic. How much is it going to cost me this time?

For what they want to do this time around, I think installing multiple laptops would be highly entertaining than boring crowns.

Yet when on speaker phone I get the "be quiet, let me talk" look and lips from Mr. G while the dentist is explaining the estimate. Then I am explained of the reason why he wanted me to not speak, as I was getting agitated at what this would all cost.

OH NO! How about having the control over my body taken away like I was 10 and didn't have a say in my health yet.

Then with cost being discussed, our budget and where are we come up. Since the beginning of our marriage, Mr. G has been the banker. I wanted him to make sure we stay on task while also reduce out debt. But when you are asked if you can afford something and look in your wallet and only see ????.....this leaves me a bit shaken. Turning a blind eye to all the little things only makes things worse about all our bills.

When I get agitated, my body gets tense and I do my own little fit when patience has been for the most part spent.

I don't want to know ALL the details of our money matters, but have some control over the left overs. Putting money in different spending accounts like for clothes, Costco, entertainment...so when the need arises, I have a better way to know if we can spend it and what other accounts would have to give up to cover if done for too much. I think the hardest part is not going out to eat. I don't always feel up to cooking and who wouldn't want a quick fix?

Why is it always the little things?

I guess this is my rant after feeling frustrated........but hey, its the first year!

The Alarm Clock

Depending on if you and your spouse/significant other have similar work hours, I am sure you have an alarm clock you share. In my case I just use the cell phone and have my work week and times to get up all programed to run seamlessly. Mr G has his clock CD radio instead.

Which gets me to this issue......

On days where I have the pleasure of having off or going into the office later, I am ROBBED of oblivion to KPAM talk radio at the highest volume level possible. And to add insult to misery, this jolt after recovery comes not once but MANY times as the snooze alarm is slammed.

Mr. G claims this is the only way he can wake up. I see it as a cop out to not push yourself to just get up!

I will soon impose a law in this place where there will be a snooze limit, so use them wisely!

So...where do you want to eat?

If you are married, maybe you've been in this senario....

I had the day off and had spent most of it with not a whole lot of structure. My new book has sucked me in and I finished my craft project (Pictures to post). With this being said, I caught something to eat in the kitchen at my leisure. This put my lunch at a very unlikely time, pushing to 3:30.

At around 6:45, Mr. G comes home. I apologize for the lack of dinner on the table, stating I was not very inspired (or disgusted at the lack of clean kitchen Mr. G neglected to help spruce up). He said it was okay. Push came to shove, I would make a sandwich and have a snack for myself later.

Back to my book.


Then he comes in the bedroom and says, lets go out to eat...where do you want to go?

I hate this question.

We live at the home of mediocre eating places. Over priced chains and places I am simply tired of. The only suggestion I have is ordering take out and having the night in. This way I can nibble and take the rest for lunch tomorrow....aka pizza. This was not exactly his idea of dinner. Being that my stomach was not exactly hungry, I shoot down most of his suggestions which didn't vary a whole lot to begin with. I am sorry but Sharies and Denny's are the same place with different decor.

We end up having a big fight which finds us at the debating table where if any fight has occurred, it gets solved in a more adult like manner. We decide to start the bedroom discussion over again with said changes.

Instead of giving me too many choices, he says he has as place and we head to the car. The place is Olive Garden. Not high on my list due to cost and portions given, as we park the car and walk towards the front doors, I ask what the second choice was. Remembering this choice was not what I wanted, my mind goes towards Changs Mongolian Grill.

Back in the car and away we go again, mind you its now almost 9 PM.

We are seated and I look at the menu. Dinner had gone up in price and they took away the one dish run making it so you could not take any leftovers home. Grrrrrrrr! Not what I wanted or wanted to pay when I wasn't all that hungry.

Back to Olive Garden.....

I ate my soup and had some bread sticks while bagging the main dish for tomorrow.

Men and women are certainly different. I see going out to eat as a means to be fed. Mr. G see's it as his contribution towards not being able to cook the same that I do for him during the week. Otherwise I would have been just fine going to a place he wanted and nibbling off his and reading a book inbetween. Communication is something that no book can fully tell you how to do it!

And so let it begin

This summer will by my first one in which I will have never experienced it before. 1st, this is my first one married and 2nd, my job position has me in charge of a lot of chaos. Not to mention my days off will get moved around, but never right next to each other. Registration forms to double check, transportation to cover, people to call and scholarships to issue.

I am left today feeling a little out of sorts. It was hard to tell myself of the day off I had before me. The day had dragged on and I was spent......

I don't feel very inspired to do any house work, but to lay in bed with my new book. I've had quite the kick to utilize the public library far more then anything which came close to my early childhood years where it was a cool place to go. As I got older and would visit here and there, the urge to continue up the stairs to the children's dept crept. Almost like the same sadness of when your health insurance won't pay for you to see the pediatrician who treated you since birth just because you became 18. Or when you out grew the age limit of going to summer camp.

Each summer was never the same, but I can only remember a handful.

Back in the wee days, our family use to take 3 week road trips to see family. Then there was going to Disneyland once a year in the summer. I was never the one to sign up for Summer school unless I could see a very good reason why. County fairs occupied a few high school years where I showed my livestock and sold to private buyers or at auction. When I was too old for camp but too young to get a summer job, counting down the days till school began. Day time television became stale and everyone else seemed to be doing something far more exciting than guessing if the denture cream cost more or less than the box of cereal on the Price is Right.

And if you had nothing else to do but had 75 cents, you could catch a ride in a full mini van and head to the public pool.

Those were the days.....

My sick grumpy bear

When I was single and sick, how I missed having someone there to help and fetch me medications or comfort food from the store. At the time I had strep throat and was engaged, my fiance would drive me to the clinic, get my prescriptions and get me any food I requested in my sad state.

Now the tables have turned. Mr. G and I are married and it was his turn to be sick and I play the roll of nurse. If only he would let me!

For as sick as he was, I had to fight him on everything. from what he would be eating, taking his temperature and what OTC medications to have. He didn't want to go to the Dr. but something told me that things were not getting better and any advice would take some time getting here. We ended up going to urgent care where they did some blood work. But most importantly was the fact of not being hydrated enough. So they tanked him up on 2 litters of fluid.

It was nice to see Mr. G coming back to me after this nasty bear had occupied his seat. By doctors orders, he is to take the rest of the week off. Good thing for PTO.

Now the question is, will I get the same virus? Lets hope my exposure to bugs has helped build my resistance to whatever crap Mr. G brought home.

I cried uncle.....

So I succumbed to a craft project.

After stopping by the library for some books I judged by the cover in hopes I would like them (So far a lot of un-needed cussing), Craft Warehouse sucked me in. But I like this place far better than the commercial Michaels. They focus on more home decor projects than everything made from foam pieces and floral arrangements.

Running out of laundry soap on my day off proved to provide a needed "free" supply....brown grocery bags.

So I sat and watched day time television of mothers giving birth as I slapped paper mache in a bowl.

I have to say, it came out pretty nicely. Now I have to apply paint and figure out how not to butcher the insides with my only one piece of material. Something tells me I'll be back for a replacement....

finished product to post when done.

Why must we craft?

I am fighting the biggest urge to become crafty again. Seems most married or mothers have an Etsy account and are selling goods from the personal craft room. (no offense to those who do). After getting lost in other blog rolls (peoples public posted links to other blogs they read), I discovered a very crafty one that has something for the sewing/graphic design/Martha Stewart crafter. Something for the kids, house, someone else's kids/home......


There is a box I have that has the last endeavors of my time. You'll find the glue gun here, fabric scraps and jewelery making. Do I dare pull any of it out so I can make something else that stays in the back room because we don't have room for it or pass it on to the next victi...ummm blessed individual :)

Why does it seem to always be the women!

Men work, hunt for the remote, gather to play D&D and play dumb to a messy apartment.

Women work, cook, clean and when its all done...craft!

Its like we have a gene most men lack. We go from turning our office into a nursery only to be converted into our personal craft room after the kid leaves the nest for good.

Then there are those who love crafts and those who love to buy craft supplies. My mother is guilty of this passion. Boxes and boxes full of rubber stamping supplies only to be stocked away for when she has a craft room. I don't know if she'll ever get around to using any of it. Chances are I will inherit most of it when she passes.

Maybe I would feel more productive when inspiration strikes if I had a house to apply it to? My efforts would not be wasted on some leased out place who wouldn't care to keep the abstract wall mural or holes.

I don't sew

I lost my workshop to moving away from home

Our office isn't even put together! It hosts my computer desk and the pile of things neither of us want to deal with until we think we still need it when we move again. Oh how the cycle continues.

I think....

I may have just found a few paper plates amongst all that China. And what a surprise...some of them have felt the same way!

Would you like Porcelain or Paper....

Depending on if you have a local community church, they offer a variety of life groups. Or should I say.....life segregation pods.

You will find:

Youth
College Young Adult
Single Young Adult
Wishing I wasn't single young adult hoping to find my mate
New Marrieds
Married with company
Given up on marriage single purpose
Single Parents
Seniors

Commonly, each group consists of a mixer, guest speaker/message topic and ending with announcements and activities to sign up for. It should be of no surprise of which group I've been going to. There was a time when I wanted to be a member of this exclusive club for such a long time. After each time we meet, Mr. G gets to hear the run down of what I observed.

In a nut shell, you could say I've struggled with this group.

Just about each time we meet, we introduce ourselves and state how long we've been married. Right now, the G family is the baby in the group where as 75% have almost 5 or more years experience under their belts. This means we rent an apartment, struggle to have our own allowance money after all the bills and pray things will get better.

Not exactly the same life woes to relate to.

After our discussion, a couple hosts dinner at their house for further socialization. Now what could be wrong with this activity? Free dinner and someone else had to clean and cook. If anything makes food taste even better....its the company you have. As we get older, some things never change. The men group up with the men and the women do the same for conversation. I dread this part the most.

My experience is as follows:

Follow another couple to a nice suburban neighborhood
Walk through well put together house with spectacular kitchen you'll never have
Sit by yourself or hope another group will adopt you into conversation group or better yet see if the guys will let you in.....
Sit and eat dinner where you estimate how much it cost to put on this kind of spread
Smile and nod at conversations which consist of gardening, layovers in airports on your way home from Rome, crafts.....and of course, house buying.

Most of the women look like they came from the same china pattern. Husbands with good jobs, disposable income and bodies half the size of me. I guess I may be more use to nicked/chipped china or paper plates. Not always pretty or the most stable, but gets the job done.

I don't know how long I'll try this group out. Thoughts of doing my own have crossed my mind. Couples who don't have their acts together...still figuring out being married...and can talk about something other than the above conversation topics!

If only I could trade company with those who have kids at those dinners. Reality at its best!

Domestication at its Best

When a woman gets married, its assumed that she'll be the domestic side of her husband. "No need to stress Mr. G, I'll take care of that trouble some laundry that piles up. What? You have no lunch for tomorrows day of work? let me take care of that." Most of my friends will tell you I was domesticated long before I was married. I invested into kitchen and home goods instead of electronics, but I didn't have all the pivotal pieces one registers for their wedding.

Sign.....the Kitchen Aid mixer will have to wait.

But with the high tech trend in gadgets, I felt validated as a wife when we received a glass covered cake platter. You know the one they try and sell you on by showing how you can turn it into a punch bowl. When I bake, instead of a cookie jar, I place the extra goodies under a glass prison.

Besides picking up other wifely duties, the ultimate one would have to be hosting. You host other couples, out of town family and whoever comes through the door. Most of the time, these guests do not make you sweat at the thought of their visit (Okay, maybe an inlaw). Except the one who has the most financial power in your current life.

This would be having your boss or bosses over for dinner.

I have never gone to this much work and fuss over a visit. The above picture is of my new dining room table. A perfect find at Ikea in the As-Is section. For only a few dings which you have to point out, we got 100 bucks plus or so knocked off the price leaving us with the ability to get four chairs to go with. My single days were had at a bare bones table with chairs coincidently also from Ikea when I first moved away from home. Nothing was wrong with it until we started having guests over for meals and were practically eating off of each others plates! A tiny table for not tiny people. After all the plates, glasses, silver wear....there was only room for the salt and pepper shakers.

So what is such the big deal about this table and my bosses? Well maybe the reason could be we bought the sucker the night before! The chairs were unfinished pine which required an additional trip to Home Depot to find a dark enough stain. There we were that night on our deck staining pieces of wood in hopes that it would be done in time for tomorrows pivotal and classic old sitcom episode. I have never gone to this much trouble cleaning and cooking in my life. At least I feel proud to have cleaned the bathrooms and have them used by our guests. It would always be Murphy's Law that if I cleaned a certain room other then the main, no one would see my efforts.

And what did you have for dinner?

Balsamic BBQ sauce..home made
Grilled chicken breast
Mr. G's macaroni salad
Raspberry and walnut salad with spring mix greens
Sliced watermelon

They brought a pie, so at least I didn't have to worry about anything more.

With this being my day off, it hardly felt like one after the business. It could have been the cooking, it could have been the cleaning or spot staining and chair assembly. Or the fact that Mr. G cracked his radiator the night before and had to be his personal driver to the mechanic and to work. Sigh, I guess I'll have to wait until tomorrow on my next day off to sleep in.

Better Watch the Water

So it seems that a lot of people around me or in my network are all getting prego. Not to mention there is a flood of baby boys. Yippie, may our girls have more to pick from than the other current trend most of my adult single women friends are dealing with.

The common joke when there is a baby wave is, "Is there something in the water?" And for all you earth polluting bottled water lovers out there.....you are not any more safer. (note, I am not an eco hippie freak, so drink away) Thus far, I have avoided this tainted water. Yet when I hear of good news about the new future family a couple is going to have, my stomach slightly lurches. Whoa...like an old memory resurfacing. When I was single and had no prospects to beat off with a stick, the news of couples getting engaged would hit me like a truck. They had every right to be happy and run to the wedding registry. If only I could bring myself to purchase a ticket on this happy train along with all the other well wishers. Of course finding a suitor and getting engaged myself and married helped those feelings fade away.

Until last night......

Reading the news from a fellow blogger.com: 3 out of 2 that they had started trying and successfuly won the swimers lottery. (Congratulations by the way) The stomach lurching had returned!

My husband and I long to have a family some day. Both being only children, we know the pain that comes with being an only. Plans to start "trying" all depend on future plans/timing of both going for additional schooling and then towards the last of the second year when we will be done...we'll give it the old college try. But since we are not following down the traditional paths of starting a family right now or buying our first home, it leaves one rather alone on this path. The attractivenss of having a little peanut who looks like you both is hard to ignor.

But its a lot of hard work!

As many times that I've heard children are a blessing, they are a lot of work. Wait, hard work seems like an understatement.....they are Superbowl of hard work. No instruction manual, lack of sleep, taxed parents, lack of alone time and hospital bills which could take to pay off until they are out of diapers!

(Looks for her pen to sign up)

As Mrs. Winters would call it, a heart vs. brain. My rational idealistic brain is saying..."Are you crazy!" while the heart coos "But they are sooo cute and God made them from you and Mr. G.

I guess I should just accept the fact that I will battle this until we are given the green light to do a little multiplying.